Thanks for reading.
"Should" is an illusion. We all do what we're capable of -- no more, no less. Water always seeks its natural level.
When I tried teaching, I didn't know that I was autistic, dyspraxic, and face-blind. All I knew was that things that were hard for me (e.g., social interaction, facial recognition, coping with sensory overstimulation, etc) were easy for most people. And things that are easy for me (abstract thinking, pattern recognition, recognizing root causes and systemic forces, focusing on one topic for long time periods, etc.) are hard for most people.
The kids knew, though. They responded to me the same way they would a peer who doesn't fit in: taunts, pranks, petty theft, vandalism, etc.
As I saw it, I wasn't the one deciding who gets an education and who doesn't. Out of a supreme respect for individual autonomy, I was letting them decide this for themselves.
Everyone is teachable; otherwise, we wouldn't survive toddlerhood. However, only some learn best in a school setting, while others learn best in other settings.
Schools are fairly recent inventions. Our current education model is based on a Prussian system that developed during the dawn of the Industrial Revolution. Compulsory education into the teen years was instituted when child labor was abolished—we needed something to occupy the young folks who were no longer working in the factories. Before that, if they were lucky, a kid went to school for a few years to learn the three R's. Then it was off to work.
Thus, middle and high school are essentially daycare systems for teens. If they learn something, that's excellent. If not -- at least they have somewhere to go and something to do.
The Prussian model works for some students, but only for some. Otherwise, we wouldn't see so many young folks looking to get out of school.
Even so, young people have always learned what they need to know to survive and thrive in their societies. Traditionally, they've learned this by watching and participating with their peers and elders. Sitting at desks, doing busywork on paper, and listening to lectures all day is highly unnatural. Some don't cope with it as well as others.
You blame me, I blame the system, and the beat goes on. There's plenty enough blame to go around, so no one is really to blame.
One could say that I just wasn't cut out for the job.
Now, I tutor in the learning center at my local community college. I'm far better suited to that role. My students and I are successful, and I don't have to worry about kids taking it out on me that they hate school -- or puking on the floor.
