Thanks for saying this.

In his autobiography, Malcolm X told of a conscience-stricken white woman who met with him and asked him what she could do Apparently he had not thought much about this, so he told her there was nothing she could do. However, after he'd had time to think about it, he said he regretted saying this and wish he'd said, educate yourself and your people. He said he hoped she and others like her would read this and take it to heart.

So that's what I've been doing, educating myself and my people, or at least, those who look like me. (As an autistic person I feel like I don't really have any people.)

I had knots a while back. I had them because I'd dreamed of Jah Rastafari and he asked this of me, among many other things. I quickly came to realize that locs are a sign that one has renounced Babylon and its idolatries -- in particular, the worship of money and status at the cost of one's soul. After a few years, though, I had to give them up because my hair was not the right texture to knot up properly. I did not look edgy or hip -- I looked like the outcast that I was. I had a big knot down my back. It pulled and hurt and smelled bad. it was making me crazy so it had to go.

I still renounce Babylon idolatry and all its works and pomps but I don't need to appropriate other people's cultural signs. In fact, I'm careful to avoid certain fabric patterns and jewelry designs because I know that these are not for me.

I have ancestors who were not white, and offspring of these ancestors who passed for white. I feel it every day, a constant sense of alienation and loss, a little shock of disgust every time I look in the mirror. So I have to be careful to stay in my lane. My ancestors made a devil's bargain on my behalf and there's not much I can do about it but pay attention.

I renounce Babylon idolatry by my life, especially by educating myself and the folks who look like me. Malcolm X said that, so I'm on it!