So sorry this happened to you!

Whenever I read about covert narcissists, I wonder if I am one. However, I've also read that actual narcissists (whether covert or overt) never ask themselves such a question because they think they're perfect. It's the same reason they can't learn from their mistakes or apologize.

Still, I wonder ...

Like most of us, I come from a dysfunctional family. I was the scapegoat. I had no friends, so I developed a complex inner world. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD and schizotypal personality disorder, which was later revised to level 1 autism.

We had a huge Catholic family -- big enough to accommodate three golden children, two invisible children, and a scapegoat! What a wealth of suffering! The golden children turned out to be one covert and one overt narcissist, and one -- the youngest -- seemed to be ok. She had many friends and was well-respected in the Church. When she passed away from cancer a few years ago, my family was ready to canonize her a Saint!

I couldn't make it to the funeral. Later I read the obituary and eulogies and thought, lucky her! And when my time comes, they probably won't even show up to my funeral.

Thanks again for writing about surviving narcissistic abuse. Your writing is very valuable.