I suffered real hard from scrupulosity also. I think Catholics are particularly vulnerable to this because we have to confess our sins to a priest in order to be forgiven, while most Christians need only confess to God. I used to go to confession every day, sometimes several times a day. I was scolded and punished for this. I was told that scrupulosity is a sin of pride, in that the sufferer falsely believes that they can be perfect and suffers because of this false belief. I was told that scrupulosity is a sin of blasphemy because only God is perfect. Maybe even a sin against the Holy Spirit, which is unforgivable. All this while still a child.

Now that I think about it, I am scrupulous still, only now it's about racism and the possibility of inadvertently committing a microaggression and adding another blow to the lifetime of pain that my Black neighbors carry. I rarely leave my house because of this fear. For example, last week, while at drum circle, a Black family passed nearby and I held my hand up in greeting. I didn't move my hand, due to dyspraxia, a co-morbidity with autism. It would have taken too much cognitive bandwidth to wave one hand while keeping the beat with the other. Then it occurred to me -- too late -- that my raised unmoving hand could have been interpreted as "stop" or "keep away." Been beating myself up over it ever since and didn't go back to drum circle this week.