Great article here. I'd give just about anything to be free of whiteness. Sometimes I feel like flaying myself! In fact, I have given -- a lot. But it's never enough and it's a perpetual struggle because whiteness is rooted in my soul and in other's perceptions when they hear my voice or catch my scent or look in my direction. Whiteness keeps clinging and coming back like kudzu. Whiteness hurts everyone.

I was corresponding with an Ashkenazi Jewish woman who felt bad because she was refused entry to an online support group for Black and Indigenous people. She said she didn't consider herself white, and her people were persecuted also.

I told her that it doesn't matter what she considers herself. If other people see her as white, then she's white. Just the way it is.

I told her that her presence in that group would be like a man in a group for women survivors of sexual assault. Even if the man were also a survivor of sexual assault (10% of men are), his presence would not be helpful to the group. The sight of him, the sound of his voice, the scent of his body, could be very invasive and triggering to the women there. To her credit, she got it.

If one is perceived as white, the best way to respect BIPOC spaces is to stay away unless specifically invited.