Great article!

It's hard to understand why a passant-blanc Creole would want to be identified as Black. In a way, it's like why a trans-woman would want to be identified as female. It's a step-down, a renunciation of privilege. Yet -- it hurts like hell when your body doesn't match your sense of who you are. It's like wearing ill-fitting shoes you can never take off. But nobody gets to decide what race they are. Other people decide that.

I look French with a touch of Native. My African ancestry is palpable but not visible. I would never in a million years claim to be Black, yet I never really felt right about saying I'm white, either. My family tries to hide the fact that we're Creole. When I did some digging and found out about our mixed ancestry, many things about my family made sense that didn't make sense before.

In the past, Louisiana Creole women were required to cover their heads while in public to distinguish themselves from the "pure" white women who came a little later. Often, these head coverings were very artistic and beautiful. When I took to covering my head, my father went ballistic and my grandfather scolded me from beyond. But I would no more go out without a head covering than I would go out without any clothes on.

I know I've gotten away with a lot of things that would have gotten me killed if my skin were darker. And I don't seem to get away with as much during the summer when I'm darker. Many people who look like me could probably say the same if they were honest and self-aware. But most people, it seems, are neither honest nor self-aware -- and feel personally attacked when called to be so! When I try telling them about colorism, they call me delusional, communist, self-hating, etc. They say I'm perpetuating racism by talking about it. Go figure.

Thanks again. Great article, as always.